hate – Monte Stevens Photography Blog

Early morning light through my front-room window

“A shadow is never created in darkness. It is born of light. We can be blind to it and blinded by it. Our shadow asks us to look at what we don’t want to see”
Terry Tempest Williams

There is a dark side of me I that I did not always want to see or admit to knowing about. It’s a side that can be full of hate, anger, jealousy, envy, fear, insecurity, self-centeredness, and the list goes on. I imagine everyone could also add to this list. When I was younger I avoided looking inward, always had a focus on how I wanted you to see me outwardly. I am grateful for this time in my life where I use self-examination along with prayer and meditation as the light to acknowledge and face the shadow side of myself. It is a path of self discovery.

The contemplative life should liberate and purify the imagination which passively absorbs all kinds of things without our realizing it; liberate and purify it from the influence of so much violence done by the bombardment of social images. There is a kind of contagion that affects the imagination unconsciously much more than we realize. It emanates from things like advertisements and from all the spurious fantasies that are thrown at us by our commercial society. These fantasies are deliberately intended to exercise a powerful effect on our conscious and subconscious minds. They are directed right at our instincts and appetites and there is no question but that they exercise a real transforming power on our whole psychic structures. The contemplative life should liberate us from that kind of pressure, which is really a form of tyranny.
Thomas Merton

Yes, I am a very much aware how affected I am by consumerism and advertising. Show me an image of a fine fountain pen and the lust for it begins to grow. I am easily enticed. Over the past few years, through the practice of a contemplative life and simplifying my life I feel the lust is being curtailed. At least until Pelikan comes out with another marbled fountain pen color and in my price range. 😳

What is interesting to me in Merton’s quote is his use of the phrase ‘spurious fantasies.’ We all have watched how the power of our social media/news can affect people, stirring up anger, hate and rage in some, while drawing others to an awareness of our societal and world issues. For some it has meant making a healthy self-examination of ourselves then coming up with ways to change the unhealthy aspects we find, nurture them and sharing the healthy ones. But, for some it means pointing fingers and accusing rather than any self-examination.

For the past few weeks I have reduced my time on social media while staying as distant as I can from the news. This has allowed me to consciously spend more time in my journal, more reading, walks in nature and more prayer/meditation. The biggest impact has been the reduction of unhealthy images in my mind, both words and photographs. I much prefer reading words that nudge me to explore their meaning and to liberate and purify my imagination to create healthy vibes in the universe.