This morning I noticed a young man in his early thirties strutting into the coffee shop1I am aware that I was immediately judgmental of him but this brought up some wonderful questions to ask myself and journal about it. His entrance was noticeable because of his tough guy walk. The demeanor offered a feeling of toughness, don’t mess with me attitude. Nor was I the only one who turned and noticed. As he ordered his drink it was then that I noticed he was packing a gun on his right side. So, the next time I see a police officer walk into a coffee shop wearing their weapons I’ll check to see if they have the same strut.
Anyway, this gave me some fodder for my journaling and also stirred this posting. What or who is he afraid of? Was his reality of life that foundationally scary and insecure? Did he feel the half dozen customers were possible enemies and that he needed to protect himself at any cost? I personally have never in my 20 some years of coffee shop life encountered a wild beast in a coffee shop. I have seen a dog or two. About the only life they could point a weapon at is another person.
My reality of life presents something different. Seems I have more fear, and am at a greater risk, from the driver who is trying to text message and drive at the same time than I do of being shot in a coffee shop. And, I also have more fear of politicians, corporate executives, and the wealthy who will do anything to attain more money, power and control due to the fear they will lose what they have or not attain what they want. And, in all honesty, I have a fear of the person packing the gun and how they will use the weapon under a stressful situation, will they use it with reactionary fear.
To end this post I must say we have no idea of the life experiences, the physical, sexual, verbal, emotional abuse and violence, others have had in life that presents their reality of life as threatening. So in my journaling and writing of this post I find gratitude for the life I have lived, the safety and security my family and community gave me and continue to give me and the innate goodness I see in this world. Reaffirms my belief that packing a gun will not prevent violence or put an end to violence and damn sure it will not bring peace.
9 Comments
Mark
Having been through CPL training, I can tell you that many people who carry become worried about something happening on that day they decide not to. There’s this intent to always be prepared or always be training with many, and that does something to your perception of feeling safe in the world, this strong desire to never be a victim, or the feeling to not let others be taken advantage of. It’s a fairly strong filter to see the world through, some of it perhaps justified by one’s own experiences, other times a bit of paranoia maybe. Hard to put a blanket label on the why.
Monte Stevens
Very good point and I must agree. This has been the most difficult post I think I’ve ever written and maybe needed to work on it more before I published it. It is a complicated issue. Just reading the Colorado gun carry laws confuses me. This evening I was wondering if I should ask to understand why anyone want to carry and be willing to pull the trigger. Our fears are generated because we lack understanding, knowledge of others, and our imaginations can run wild. You are so right in that we all want to feel safe. I hope I understand how we would want to be prepared and not disregard that. Actually, I like how you ended your comment by saying we can’t put a label on why. Oh, and I had to go look up what CPL training was. I had to laugh because my first search on Google gave me Certified Pilot License. Thank you so much for sharing with me. This would also be a great topic at a coffee shop.
Mark
Haha, I think the pilot training would be more fun. I took the course mostly to try to educate myself on something I have mixed feelings about, and sometimes I have done work in some dangerous areas. Then when I had to go before the county board, I was in a room of people from all walks of life – all there for the same application process, it would be hard to stereotype the room honestly. Young, old, men, women, business suits to coveralls.
I know seeing someone carrying is a bit unnerving, but I would bet it is someone you should have the least concerns about. I may not agree with all the politics around the issue or the vigor people go to about it, but if I do see someone carrying, it is more of a shrug now. I think it is important to be able to have sincere conversations about this aspect of our society without it getting so political.
Monte Stevens
I immediately stereotyped him which is something I do way too often with anyone. You have also reminded me of the times I have also found myself in work situations that felt unsafe and dangerous, primarily overseas. But I’ve felt fearful in both cities and nature. Either from man or beast and always from a place of not knowing, with none or minimal control. I snickered to myself as I remembered those times I could hear every sound nature made while I was lying in my tent, and that was as an adult. 😂
Nor do I want to get all messed up in the politics or controversy over it. I’m really wanting to know for myself how I feel, why I can feel disturbed when someone carries and also want to know why a coffee shop feels unsafe to some.
And, on that note I will share that there are a couple of coffee shops in Old Town that are 2-3 blocks from the homeless shelter. I have seen people come into these shops for warmth, shelter and handouts. Admittedly, some can be unnerving since there are those with mental issues and probably why they are on the streets. But, in my reality they do not pose a threat where I feel I need to have a weapon. This goes back to the whole question of my post, “Why do we feel unsafe in certain areas of our world? Why is reality different for us? Why do some places and situations seem more threatening?” It may be that fear, and our imagination that runs with fears, are the root of our reactions to these situations. There will always be times of fear but what we do with that fear is important for me to better understand.
Thanks again, Mark!
Mark
Your questions are understandable. Perhaps it wasn’t the coffee shop specifically, but just where the person travels on their daily business. No way to know for sure – but might make for an interesting conversation should you see him again. 🙂 Of course, it wasn’t concealed, some people do that just to be provocative – which isn’t helpful either. There are many people around us carrying concealed and we never know – and yet all these awful shootings still happen. Such is the society we live in now.
Monte Stevens
No it was not concealed. And I’m aware many are carrying weapons we do not know about. I’ve seen them before in and around town. Their fears and the reality of life they live is different than mine. Yes, such is the society we live in now. Hope you have a great weekend! And, stay warm it looks like winter weather in your area.
Earl
I enjoyed your insightful post, Monte, and the following conversations with Mark. I don’t know if I have anything to add beyond what has already been discussed.
Lovely photo!
Monte Stevens
Feel I’ve learned a lot about myself and others through this post, my journaling and from Mark.
Tom Dills
It’s a very complicated issue, unfortunately one of many facing our society these days. Your thoughts and concerns echo many of mine, and I’d rather not wade further into those waters other than to say that, while I believe in ‘to each his/her own,’ I’d prefer to not be subjected to people walking around carrying deadly weapons.