Retired. Having fun with photography. Journal daily. Meditate daily. Learning haiku. Have a love for fountain pens.

4 Comments

  • Cedric Canard

    My wife is like you mother, never still and always doing what needs to be done. The question to ask revolves around the “needs” part. What “needs” to be done in life is often times a matter of perception. In my experience, the things that truly matter, that truly “need” to be done, never fail to get done. They happen with seemingly little effort if I let life take its course. Think about it in your own life Monte, from what I know of you through your writing and your photos, I’m pretty sure you know what I mean.

    Or perhaps I’m just bone-lazy 😉

    • Monte Stevens

      Yep, just bone-lazy. 🙂 For me there are those things, task, dreams that did not get done and because they did not get done, the path life is different. Failing to do them or make a choice because of fear is what keeps me awake at night. I like where I’m at but feel there are many things I could do that would alter my life now. Something inside of me whispers to step out of this comfort zone I live it. Not sure I am making much sense.

  • Cedric Canard

    It does make sense but that is a somewhat different topic to doing what “needs” doing. You are talking about fulfilling desires or dreams and that is another matter. It is something that plagues all of us.
    At our age it comes in the form of regrets and with all our insecurities we look for something to blame it on such as fear which invariably feeds our insecurities even more. I have long suspected that people like your mother and my wife might choose to remain eternally “pro-active” as you put it precisely to avoid dealing with such thoughts.
    I’m not qualified to give any advice but for what it’s worth here are my thoughts on the matter.
    You believe in God Monte and I believe in physics. I see it as essentially the same thing. Religion is simply physics with personality and both strive to answer the deeper questions in life. Our perception of the world and, more significantly, of life is infinitely small. The grand scheme however, the big picture if you will, is infinitely big. From our perspective we see mistakes, errors and accidents. We see injustice and tragedy. We see ourselves as failures filled with disappointments. And yet, God/Physics gives us a totally different perspective if we are fortunate enough to be open to it. It gives us the big picture where every piece plays a role and even if we can’t actually see or comprehend the whole picture, we can on occasion get that subtle sense that every little thing in life is so vitally important to the whole that we start to understand how everything happens for a reason. Feelings of fear and joy and anger and frustration are nothing more than springs and cogs that keep the whole thing on track.
    The feelings of fear and regret stem from thoughts and we have little control over them. If we did, then we would only think happy thoughts or at the very least, not think depressing stuff at all. All we can do is watch these thoughts, acknowledge them for what they are (just thoughts) and then detach ourselves from them. Easier said than done, sure, but combined with the understanding of the big picture (God’s plan?), I have found it to be an excellent way of being content with the hand I was dealt and how my story has played out so far.
    Mind will trick us into believing that had our desires been fulfilled, had we had the courage to follow through with our dreams, that our life would be better and brighter or at least different. Mind tries to convince us that had we not been plagued by fear, we would, at the very least, have no regrets. But those are just thoughts, based on nothing but wishful thinking. Whether our choices and actions in life were right or wrong can only be determined in hindsight but quite possibly Life has worked out exactly as it was meant to and your part in it was no more or less important than the sun or the moon or the successful artists or the homeless bums or the thieves or the priests or the presidents…
    At this stage the thought that all of that is just wishful thinking too can pop into our heads but this is where faith comes into the picture. The believer needs faith as much as the physicist. Faith is that voice that tells us everything is going to be ok even if everything points to the contrary right now.
    You said that despite it all, you still lkie where you’re at. I’d like to suggest that this sensation is life (or God) saying thanks for doing your bit.
    Forgive my long-winded reply. Reading back I realise I have written all this as much for me as in response to your comment. Feel free to remove it.

    • Monte Stevens

      No I’m not going to remove your comment. One of the positive aspects of blogging is the comments. They have the power to cause us to take a second look at what has been written or to rethink. Thank you, Cedric.