Photography

I Lost It?

November 3, 2010
Park Bench

I lost it. I felt the anger and resentment well up inside of me, making me physically unhealthy. My back and neck were tight and the aching was more than annoying me. I did not like where I was. My mind kept playing out scenes which did not need to be imagined. Life was not what I wanted and I was not accepting it. I prayed for relarese from these unwelcomed thoughts and feelings.

I settled into some quiet hoping to settle the restless spirit within me. I then grabbed my journal and began to write with the hope of putting my thoughts down in black and white would help them subside. Since the rain had stopped and the sun was peaking out between the rolling clouds and offering glimpses of bright blue skies, a restlessness was beckoning me to get up and move. With camera over my shoulder I walked within close proximity of my hotel. I whispered prayers and opened myself to the muse hoping it would point my photographers eye to the unseen images around me. Once back in my room it felt good to stretch out on my bed and relax. As I laid there I noticed the tension, anger, resentment and the unhealthy focusing on my “self” had slipped away. Was it the writing, the prayer, the quiet time, the walk or pressing the shutter on my camera? Hopefully it was all of them. I lost them.

Retired. Having fun with photography. Journal daily. Meditate daily. Learning haiku. Have a love for fountain pens.

16 Comments

  • Earl

    November 3, 2010 at 7:42 am

    Monte, release of unhealthy emotions, thoughts and stress is a hard one for me. I’ve always tended to dwell on things much too long. I’m still working on that and use many of the same techniques as you.

    I love the close-up of the bench with colorful autumn leaves…but then you know you had me at the bench. Have a great day today! 🙂

  • Faye

    November 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    I love this photo – the contrast of nature vs man-made (although it looks as though the bench blends in with nature very well).

    It sounds like you found exactly what your soul needed – I’m glad. 🙂

  • Ken

    November 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Monte, whether it’s the power of prayer or photography, you have found your release. This
    shot not only made you feel better, but me as well. Very nice.

  • Mary Ann

    November 3, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    That is a very cool photo that ties nicely with your written word. Poignant. Glad to hear you found a way to recover from the emotion. Perhaps the title should be, “I found it?”. Be well. The other option isn’t that great. 🙂

  • Ove

    November 4, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    How well you expressed the sometimes overwhelming feeling of hopelessness that flushes over us. I think writing, photographing and other arts are as balm for my soul in those circumstances.

    The image on the bench rooms many thoughts. A strong feeling of absence. Leaves from a tree taking its annual sleep, on a bench made of the wood from a tree never to be awakened again. That didn’t sound too encouraging, but I’d liked to follow that chain of thoughts. A wonderful image.