In case no one noticed, I’ve been absent with posting due to travel and time constraints. So after sleeping in my own bed I headed off to the local coffee house early the next morning. I wanted to hold a warm latte in my hands while curled up in one of the big lounge chairs. I selected one of the chair where the sunshine added more warmth and read. On my way back to the apartment I noticed the fallen leaves around one of the bushes just outside the door. This is one of those images where the colors were my attraction, so out came the camera.
This was taken a few weeks ago at the dam on a foggy morning. It has the feeling of going nowhere. However, on a positive note, today is suppose to be sunny and warm. Nice way to enjoy a day in November.
Almost a month ago I posted and image of these same trees where the leaves were bright gold and in the early stages of their gravitational fall to create a carpet on the ground. Within nature this process is part of the cycle of life: the leaves fall for decomposition to prepare the soil for next years growth and provide nutrients for small organisms, a world we seldom see. Three weeks later I happen to be driving by these same trees and was surprised at how quickly things changed. Not only are the trees barren of their leaves but the tree owner has raked up the carpet of leaves. I must admit to being a bit sad. In my mind I envisioned the leaves stuffed in large plastic bags hauled off to the local dump. I calmed myself by admitting those leaves may be in some compost pile and will fulfill their cycle of life.
I’ve spent way too much time debating within myself to purchase an e-reader. I’ve weighed the pros and cons and in many ways can distort them to suit my desires for that day. I’ve been interested in them since they first came out. As much traveling as I do it makes sense to only carry one book which actually can have hundreds of books loaded. I moved closer to purchasing a Kindle few days ago I added one to my shopping cart on Amazons website but did not take the next step. Well, after some prodding and feedback from friends who use them I pushed the purchase button on my monitor and am now the owner of the new Kindle. So far, I like it. The first book I purchased was called The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball. It was one I’d read about and jotted down the title for future reference. And, I consumed it in two days.
Sometimes I raise my camera to my eye because I’m inspired with what I see at the moment. Sometimes there is a thought process involved before pressing the shutter and other times it’s more of a reaction. The above image was a moment of reaction and about 3 seconds worth of thought, mostly in composition. However, once loaded on the hard drive the previously felt inspiration was not there. The tall green with my shadow had nothing to say to me.
A few weeks later while making a second pass over last months images and getting rid of the losers, inspiration spoke again of this scene. After playing around with it for a couple of minutes, I convert it to black and white and saw a completely different scene. So in this image I was inspired at shutter time and in post processing. I guess you can say I was inspired twice.
I lost it. I felt the anger and resentment well up inside of me, making me physically unhealthy. My back and neck were tight and the aching was more than annoying me. I did not like where I was. My mind kept playing out scenes which did not need to be imagined. Life was not what I wanted and I was not accepting it. I prayed for relarese from these unwelcomed thoughts and feelings.
I settled into some quiet hoping to settle the restless spirit within me. I then grabbed my journal and began to write with the hope of putting my thoughts down in black and white would help them subside. Since the rain had stopped and the sun was peaking out between the rolling clouds and offering glimpses of bright blue skies, a restlessness was beckoning me to get up and move. With camera over my shoulder I walked within close proximity of my hotel. I whispered prayers and opened myself to the muse hoping it would point my photographers eye to the unseen images around me. Once back in my room it felt good to stretch out on my bed and relax. As I laid there I noticed the tension, anger, resentment and the unhealthy focusing on my “self” had slipped away. Was it the writing, the prayer, the quiet time, the walk or pressing the shutter on my camera? Hopefully it was all of them. I lost them.
